Thursday, February 7, 2008


Last night for a brief amount of time I dreamt I was in prison. I remember it starting when I was in the lunchroom. I looked around and realized I was wearing a grey suit, and in a room full of men and women. I thought I couldn't be in prison, as there were men and women in the same room.

After eating, I was distributing mail. I came across a catalog that was describing all kinds of mechanical body alterations/manipulations. It was so horrific and abstract I got scared. (What was my mind thinking in seeing this in my mind?) I immediately dropped that in the trash, and refused to distribute it. (I am feeling sick to my stomach thinking about it.)

After this episode, I went to the shower. The shower had a window in the front of it, and everyone could see me. I kept trying to close the curtain, but was having difficulty. While in there I saw some of the inmates going through the things in my room, but i couldn't get out in time to stop them. When I finally got back to my room, an inmate came in and was attempting to rape me. I remember saying to him, you are nothing, you mean nothing and what you are doing is nothing. I will not be affected by you in any way. This seemed to have worked. He left.

Then I woke up with that horrific images from the catalog, wondering where the hell my mind was going with that one.

more sleep or less. I can't figure it out. damn depression.

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