Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Father and the Bum

Last night was a long intense dream... which really only took place for a few seconds I know. I was back in Dallas with a friend. We were cruising around checking out places. I took her to a favorite hangout of mine. A place I always used to go. My friend was outside on the patio hanging with some people, and I was inside on the bench laying down and remembering the "times". As I looked to the front door, in walked the EX. The father of my bambino. He had come in wearing a leg brace, and walking with a cane. I looked at him in disgust. He looked at me in disgust. I said, shit. What are you doing here? And asked him about his leg. He said he had palsy. But while he was explaining it I wasn't listening. Behind him was a crazy eyed man with thick glasses, and a hat with a blue jay feather. He kept calling him the preacher. I said, "lets pretend we don't see each other". He said, "that's fine with me". So off he went with the guy he came in with.

There are a lot of details I am forgetting. But I remember laying on that bench thinking about times, looking through the slats of the walkway watching him. His hair was shorter, shoulder length. I would catch him looking at me occasionally. He was drinking beer. Same old same old. I was thinking he hasn't really changed, and it has caught up with him physically. I wondered why he had come there. As I was laying there, he and his friend, i guess with the alcohol courage, came to talk to me. The ex was telling me of his desire to change, and become a preacher. I laughed and asked him more about that, remembering all the dreams he discussed but never pursued. Just then, my son came in from outside, i had forgotten he was there... he ran over and looked at the ex. He just sat in his lap and put his arms around him. Then the ex started to cry as the little mans fingers ran across his face. I thought they could be so connected and what a shame it was. Then a shiver of fear came across me, that what he would try to take the little guy away from me.

I decided to let them have some privacy and bonding time. I walked outside to find my friend, and we talked for a little bit. I remember walking down the alleyway, finding ways through some paths, saw my dead camera lens in the dirt, and walked happily past, down to the ocean where everything seemed to be walking on the water, horses, people, etc. The boats were also sailing on clear water, endless horizon line too. Nothing in the distance. I made my way back to the bar, and when i got there, My ex and the little man were gone.

I was freaking out. My friend was there, I said, where did they go? I knew that he had charmed her into thinking I was unfit. He always had a way of being charming and those deep green eyes didn't hurt anything either. I said to her, where did he go.. She said, I am not supposed to tell you. I said, you know then, she said, yes. I was adamant about how crazy he could be, and not sure the little guy would be safe with him drinking and the man he was hanging out with. I went back into my house, and I heard a knock on the door. He had returned with the little guy. His friend said to me, I had to talk him into bringing him back. He wasn't going to. I gave him a big hug and said, thanks for being a good friend to him. Then the ex started talking about becoming a preacher, and getting his life together so he could be with his son. I smiled thinking, a wonderful idea. we will see what happens.

Then they left. the end. or is it? i am wondering.